(Photo credit Jacob W. Frank)
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Every year on New Year’s Day, a group of wildly-brave souls submit themselves to a frigid dip in Lake De Smet known as the Polar Bear Plunge. But who in their right mind would actually jump into a freezing cold lake in the middle of winter? Keep reading to find out.
The Teenagers
It’s science. Physiology teaches us that teenagers, in respect to the rest of their brain functions, have underdeveloped frontal lobes – the part of the brain that handles decision-making. This explains why teenagers act the way they act, which in turn explains why an otherwise rational 16-year-old would think it wise to jump into coma-inducing water with nothing on but a swimsuit. But don’t blame them, blame their brains!
The New Year’s Resolution-er
This is the person who swears they’re going to start their “clean diet” come New Year’s Day. Of course, starting it is easy; tougher is to not lose motivation sometime around January 4. These vowing-to-be-dedicated individuals believe that jumping into a bone-chilling body of bitterness will somehow cleanse them of their bad habits, leaving them with clean (and bright pink and goosebumped) slates as they begin a new year. But if this actually worked, everyone would do it. In fact, Albertson’s would have to stop selling Doritos and moose tracks ice cream, and no one wants that.
The Gambler
Remember the old joke? You see a friend with a bad haircut and say, “What, did you lose a bet or something?” Well the same applies in this situation. ONe must assume that everyone at the Polar Bear Plunge — outside of the teens, resolution-ers and plain crazy folk — must have lost a bet, because there’s no way a non-teen, non-resolution-er, non-crazy person would willingly submit to such an activity. If you do happen to see someone who actually lost a bet and now has to do the plunge, you’ll most likely see the winner of said bet taking photos on their smartphone while whaling out an evil “MUHAHAHAHAHA!”
The Loonies
These are the people who actually ENJOY the Polar Bear Plunge. Yes, there are people out there who actually get excited to become a human popsicle to start off the new year. If you happen to be one of those people, we commend you. You’re braver than we’ll ever be. But don’t ask us to go ice skating. We don’t trust you.
For those of you out there who are braver (aka crazier) than us at Sheridan Brand, we wish you the best at the Plunge! Just remember, keep the car running with the heat on high.
If you’re interested in participating in or watching the Polar Bear Plunge and have never been, it starts at 1:00pm on New Year’s Day at Lake De Smet, eight miles north of Buffalo on Interstate 90. Despite the biting-cold water, we’ve heard it’s a great time!
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